My sister-in-law got cancer, and research showed that she didn't have two years left. The research was right, and she didn't last two years, but we look forward to seeing her in Heaven. Even though she was only thirty-eight when she died God controlled her life and her death.
My husband wasn't given any notice. One moment he was strong and healthy, and in the next he was walking through the Gates of Glory. Everyone said it was a tragedy, which it was, but God wasn't surprised. He knew on the day that Michael was born what day he would die. The fact that God has a perfect plan, and is in control of life and death has brought me great comfort since my husband was killed.
One man told me he would be able to accept the accidental death of his young son if he knew why God had allowed the boy to die. Start in Genesis, and read through to the book of Revelation, but nowhere in the Bible will you find God explaining Himself.
“Our God is sovereign. That means there's no such thing as luck. Anything that happens to you, good or bad, must pass through His fingers first. There are no accidents with God.”
There is great comfort to be gained from accepting God's plan in both life and death. But first you need to stop blaming people or circumstances for your loved ones' death, and accept that God controls life and death just like He controls gravity. You need to believe He has a loving plan for your life, even though you don't understand it!
Accept the fact that God’s plan is carried out in perfect love. Stop fighting the circumstances that are beyond your control, and trust in the God who controls it all. In that trust you will find the peace and rest that you’ve been longing for. Sleep will come and your stomach will feel better, because you will be resting in God’s perfect plan!